The Awkward Kiss

Europeans are so cool. They have the most amazing accents that sound so sophisticated to my Canadian ears, so foreign, sexy. They’re also more laid back than what I’m used to in North America. I like the pace and the language and the food, but I can’t help but feel like the awkward, knobby-kneed school girl whenever a welcoming European tries to double-kiss me. Mua-mua, little pecks on each cheek. I never know what do do, I swear I almost took a girl’s earring out, might have also knocked her in the face a little when she came in for what I thought was a hug. I hug everybody. I’m a hugger. These people are kissers. Cool, I thought. I can do that. Turns out, no, no I can’t do that. Not smoothly, anyway. I feel so awkward even thinking about greeting some of them. Do I kiss them? Are they expecting me to kiss them? Will I be rude if I don’t kiss them? And if I do, will they smell my breath? (Coffee in the morning, garlic and onions in the evening. I’m super special that way.) My clumsiness just makes everything worse. I’ve stepped on a few toes, knocked a few boobs, but haven’t slobbered on anyone so I’ve got that going for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kissing. I really, really do. But I feel like I need to be prepared for it, with a pocketful of mints and my hair smelling like ambrosia. (That Shauna smells so good!) I want to leave a good impression. Instead, most people are getting my coffee/garlic/onion/35°C smell, usually with something special nestled in the crack of my teeth.  Pure awesomeness, really.

Today, Bex also went on her very first overnight school field trip. I try not to be a hover mom, but it’s so hard. She’s my baby. They both are. I’ve told them, repeatedly, that they will be my babies even when they have babies and grandbabies. My kids are getting older, but I will hang on to their childhoods for as long as I can, let them stay in the magic a little longer. It was so hard to say goodbye to her this morning, but she was so happy and excited. I’m happy for her to experience life this way, but momma misses her baby. With big sister away, Laura and I have a date planned. I told her we can do anything she wants to do. Our mommy-daughter day will consist of getting our nails done and ordering a Disney-themed birthday cake, a month in advance. She’s been talking about this imaginary cake for months. The baker has some big dreams to achieve.

With the girls in school, I’ve been able to really relax for the first time in about 6 months. It was just me and them for 4 months, then we came here. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind so when they started school, I went on walks, cleaned house and have been doing a lot of reading. I’m still waiting to hear if I’ve been accepted into the master’s program in London (maybe I AM too old ..), which starts October 1, but until then I’m looking at a zumba class and possibly a crossfit class. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE zumba! I feel so sexy when I’m dancing, then one look in the mirror tells me I’ll always have two left feet, so I get a really good laugh at myself. As for crossfit, I’ve always been curious. I’m planning on taking a class maybe this week. I hope I’ll survive….

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So awkward…..

Author: S.L.Luck

Writer of fiction, non-fiction, and stories in between.

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