The Ice Lady and the Smoking Chiropractor

I’ve decided to go au naturale and freak all the Serbians out.

Here’s the story…

I used to have nice hair like 20 years ago. It was super long and super healthy. After too many dye jobs and too much heat styling, my poor hair is dry, damaged, and very thin. I could reasonably pass for an aging witch, but I don’t have the age spots yet so at least I’ve got that going for me. Anyway, I haven’t styled my hair in over a month. As usual, I wash it, but I no longer blow dry or flat iron my fragile hair because I’m trying to get it back to its healthy, natural state. Yes, it’s frizzy and most days it looks like I haven’t brushed it (I  have) but the big thing is that I often leave the house with wet hair.

Serbians have a thing about wet hair. A MAJOR thing. It’s in the same sphere as promaja, the Balkan belief that drafts cause sickness or even death. When I go out with wet hair, people actually cringe. The collective sucking of air through clenched teeth can be heard wherever I walk. I was even called “The Ice Lady” by my chiropractor here, who told me that it is people with wet hair like me that keep him in business. He said this, of course, while he adjusted me with a cigarette in his mouth, the smoke coiling up in the air, intertwining with the mist from my hair.

Another funny story…

I walked into yet another door last week and hurt my elbow pretty bad. It’s not broken, but I’ve got some nerve damage, to say the least.  My arm has been in a sling for a week and, last night, my doctor said I’d be in the sling for at least another 10 days.  The funny part of this is that when I went in for my appointment yesterday, I sat in the waiting room for 40 minutes while the staff were trying to find a gynecologist for me…for my ELBOW.  Living in a foreign country can be pretty funny sometimes.  Eventually, the appropriate doctor and I found each other. He crossed himself when he heard where the nurses were trying to direct me.

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